Why can't I learn?

I was feeling pretty good about things and went through and un-blocked all the blocked friends from my FB news feed. All the friends who are moms and post about their kids all the time.

Then I started reading through my news feed....

...and blocked them all again.

It's just another Sunday...

I wish it were true. It's Mother's Day. I know a lot of you have aching hearts today as I do, so I just wanted to wish each of you a happy day today. If you're like me, most of your friends and family don't know the heartache that you're going through and the pain that a day like today can bring. This post is to let you know that you're not alone. We're all mothers at heart, even if for now it's just to our future children or our children that never got to be with us here on earth. You are a mother and you will be a mother. Happy Mother's Day my friends.

Bitter Betty is knocking at the door. Are you going to answer?

I'm sure we all feel this way sometimes - I can't go on Facebook or the message boards that I usually frequent because they're full of women celebrating their babies or their pregnancies and I can't think of anything nice to say. I hate when the bitterness rises to the surface. I have so much to be grateful for, and so much that makes me happy, but I'm just so jealous of those women. I like being in control and this seems to be one huge part of my life that I just can not control. Ugh.

Okay. Vent over. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

One more time around the track...

Well, it's onto another cycle we go. I guess the silver lining for me this time around is that it's one more cycle to go until DH gets his 3rd (and hopefully final) s/a and the RE will see us again and finally form a plan for us! I'm hoping IUI is in our future - from what I've read, I think it will work for us! (I hope, I hope, I hope!)

A strange sense of relief.

Yesterday was my EDD (estimated due date). I was apprehensive leading up to it, because I wasn't sure how I would react. In the end it was just another day. I guess I never put too much stock in it because due dates are so uncertain to begin with. Today I feel a strange sense of relief. No more missed milestones. No more thinking about how many weeks I should be or what trimester I'd be in. At this point what might have been is just so much more abstract than all of that that my mind isn't latching onto it like it did with the pregnancy milestones. It's nice, actually. I was pregnant, then wasn't. I don't have a child, but I didn't before, so that's nothing new.

So.Very. Tired.

My day started at 6:30 am when the furniture delivery man called to say my 8am couch delivery would be there in 25-30 minutes - at the new house. I was still at the apartment, in my PJs and had just poured my coffee. I didn't stop going until 9:30pm. 

Needless to say, I'm a little tired right now.

When it rains...

Tomorrow's a big day! We close on our house tomorrow morning. It is truly a dream come true. I've been so excited I keep waking up early every morning unable to get back to sleep. And of course, because I'm a multi-tasker, I'm pretty sure I'll be ovulating tomorrow too (I got a blazing OPK tonight). Nice, huh? It wouldn't be too bad to check off two life dreams in one day. Last time it took a move to another state for me to get pregnant, so maybe the move will make it happen this time too?