There's a first time for everything

No one could have ever predicted that this would happen, especially not me. It may turn out to be a bad idea, but for the moment, it seems like maybe it's actually good. I'm talking about the fact that I'm sitting here writing a blog entry - for my blog.

Hmm. Let's all stay tuned to see how this turns out.

I keep struggling with wanting to share with everyone what I've been through in the past year, but just haven't figured out quite how to do it yet. In reality, this blog probably isn't really the ideal way, but it feels right for the moment. There's a world of people out there in cyberspace that have never met me face to face who have heard all about what I've been through, and my immediate family and one friend know, but beyond that, it's my not-so-little secret. I guess this is a first step to getting it out there. 

I've always been a pretty private person. I'm quiet. Everyone always likes to point that out to me. I don't like to put myself  'out there' too much. It's my defense mechanism. I guess that's why I haven't even told people that we're trying to have a child, let alone the fact that we almost succeeded...almost, but didn't. Maybe I'm afraid that if I do, it will make it more 'real'. As if it could get any more real. I really don't want it to get any more 'real'.

Anyway...as the title reads, I guess there's a first time for everything.